Healdsburg is about an hour and a half north of our home and it has the small town community feel I love. It’s one of my favorite places to spend a day in the Bay Area and it is especially comforting when sadness hits me hard around this time of the year. Not only is it a foodie destination featuring multiple Michelin-starred restaurants and six bakeries, Healdsburg is also a charming spot with two independent bookstores and numerous boutique shops.
Sadness lays thick and heavy on my heart around fall, the season when Natalie fell ill in 2008. My body has kept the score of the trauma that has forever changed me. Grief can feel lonely even with many friends and a wonderful family. Nobody completely understands the depths of my heart. No matter how much they care and love me, they have no idea of the innumerable flashbacks I have of my daughter on a daily basis and the tears that accompany them. I don’t burden people with such gloom when they are busy decorating, shopping, and trying to create happy memories for the holiday season.
I was grateful Grant was willing to go to Healdsburg on a whim to grab some bread and pastries. Leaving at 1:00 was cutting it close because Quail & Condor and its sister bakery/bistro Troubadour close at 3:00. Many people would think it was crazy to make such a long drive for thirty minutes of joy. Not us. While nothing has magically taken away the pain we feel, we do our best to give each other any amount of happiness.
Waves of anxiety hit me when I glanced at the GPS and saw our estimated time of arrival was 2:53. We had not factored in the Saturday traffic. I told Grant it would be okay if we didn’t make it. I reminded myself there are other prominent bakeries and many other notable options to eat still open past 3:00.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as Grant drove past the speed limit. Jirachi was happy she was on this adventure. Sasha, our puppy, whined anxiously. (She gets nervous in cars.) All I could think about was how incredible a slice of the fudgy truck stop chocolate cake from Quail & Condor would taste when I got there. I also hoped there were still some of Sarah’s canelé left at Troubadour.
We pulled off the freeway into Healdsburg at 2:47. Grant was driving so fast we missed the left turn into Quail & Condor. We decided to head to Troubadour as it would take too long to make a U-turn. Grant dropped me off a few steps from Troubadour while he looked for parking and I ran like a maniac into the shop.
The young woman at the register informed me all the loaves of bread were gone, including the super seed sourdough bread I’ve been wanting to try. The only sandwiches left were the roasted carrot or the ham and turkey muffaletta. I picked the carrot sandwich because it was made with two slices of the super seed sourdough. I also grabbed their last chocolate chip cookie and chocolate financier.
Grant found parking right in front of Troubadour. When I got inside the car and saw it was only 2:53, we drove quickly back to Quail & Condor. At 2:55, I jumped out while Grant tried to comfort our two barking dogs, who couldn’t understand why their mama was leaving them again.
Luckily, Quail and Condor had six loaves of bread and two slices of the chocolate cake left. I’ve never seen their bakery counter look so bare. I asked for two loaves of their yecora rojo sourdough, a loaf of the olive campagne sourdough, and a slice of the truck stop chocolate cake. A young couple, flushed and out of breath, ran into the bakery at 2:58. In a distressed tone, the man blurted, “Did you buy everything? We ran here as fast as we could.”
“No,” I replied politely. “There’s one loaf of the yecora rojo sourdough left, two loaves of the olive sourdough, and a slice of chocolate cake.”
“Thank you for leaving something for us,” the woman gushed.
“Of course,” I smiled. “I’m not greedy.”
Grant and I chowed down on our sumac roasted carrot sandwich in the car. The carrots were tender and had a nice bit of spice from the sumac. With the pumpkin seed pesto, ricotta, pickled red onion, parmesan, Japanese sesame salt (goma shio), arugula, and the super seed sourdough bread slices, it was one of the best sandwiches we’ve ever eaten.
The chocolate chip cookie was divine; crispy and chewy and containing large chunks of dandelion chocolate. The financier was good but their truck stop chocolate cake was out of this world! It was everything I had imagined it to be: not too sweet, moist and fudgy, and a thick covering of creamy bittersweet chocolate frosting studded with tiny, crunchy sugar granules. I took small bites, trying to dissect how I could recreate this masterpiece at home. I should’ve been greedy and gotten the other slice.