The chill breeze told me it was time put on my gray flannel. My stomach felt a little weird even before we left Emeryville, not quite queasy but not good and the cold would stress my body out more. I didn’t want bad health to spoil our day so I pulled the shirt over my hoodie, then put my coat back on. I had waited until we slowed down so the wind lessened and wouldn’t blow my coat away. Captain Jeff eased us next to the pier and James held on to a low wall to keep us parallel while we got bait.

Jeff asked for two and a half scoops and the young baitman dipped his net in and slowly passed the wriggling mass over. Even though James carefully spilled them into the livewell, a half dozen anchovies fell on deck. Maison bent over and tentatively tried to save a frantically flapping silver fish. I tapped his shoulder when the second scoop came so he wouldn’t get one in his hair. Maison slid aside while keeping an eye on the ground-bound fish. James lifted the net to dump them out and a few more didn’t make it into the livewell. After the half scoop was done, James pushed us off the wall and we motored away from San Francisco.

James scooped up a bunch of fish from the deck with a short net. When he flung them out, Maison frowned and asked why we didn’t put them in the well. “They’re injured now and they’re going to die soon. When they do, they poison the tank so we just throw them overboard,” I replied. Maison nodded. As we passed the no-wake zone, Jeff revving the engines and the rushing wind discouraged conversation. Sean’s pale face appeared seasick but when I stuck my thumb up and down questioningly, his reply was up. I guess he’s okay. When he went into the cabin, I figured he was just tired because Sean knows it’s better to be out in the wind if you don’t feel good.

The Golden Gate loomed over the massive footings and the spires pierced the fog. As we crept past, I snapped a few pics and texted them to Tammy, Moe, Gene, and the boys.

It felt like forever but we finally slowed down and Jeff checked the fishfinder. He had a map of the reef on his phone but the fish move around so he wanted to find some good schools before he stopped. When he remembered our group had a lot of noobs, he made our first stop over a sandy bottom to reduce snags. He gave us brief instructions and we dropped our lines. Gene, Sean, and Nate immediately got fish. I got nothing.

I felt my bait getting stolen and reeled up to check. Still there, so I dropped again. Everybody was landing nice fish except me. Gene asked me if I had caught one yet. Nope. Got a tiny one and threw it back. I finally hooked a nice blue, got it up -and banged it loose against the railing. Involuntary catch and release. The bite slowed down so captain told us to wind ’em up while he motored over another school. Dropped again and we started getting more fish.

An hour later, Nate hooks into something big. Pulling drag, fighting hard! He lands an absolutely huge ugly brown ling and captain gaffs it. Nate’s so tired he goes into the cabin and takes a break. I’m fighting hard against my own jealousy. Over the past few years, I’ve bought over $200 worth of stuff to catch lings: big and little swimbaits in multiple colors and an assortment of different jig heads, chrome diamond jigs, iron jigs, frozen mackerel, frozen squid, and more. I bought wire and crimps and made my own live bait rigs. With all that gear, I’ve caught a lifetime grand total of one legal lingcod. What am I doing wrong?

Nate ended up catching two more legal lings. Zach spent most of the time in the cabin but he came out, dropped an anchovy, and got a legal ling. Sean took a break and James fished his spot for a minute, right next to me, and pulled up a ling. I know it is partially luck but my luck has been all bad. A big part of me would rather catch lots of fish than a trophy fish, but another part of me wants it all: quantity and quality. I like fishing for rockcod because there is a good chance to get a big ling. In fact, I usually go out on the Seawolf because they consistently catch more lingcod than the other boats.

Later, Jeff tells me the Seawolf catches more because they have more regulars who know how to fish for them. All the boats catch a few lings but on the Seawolf, there are a bunch of guys who fish swimbaits and iron and other baits that catch more lings. Today I casted my swimbait a handful of times but it drove me nuts to see everyone else catching fish while I was just casting. I quickly gave up and put on a shrimp fly. A live anchovy is more likely to catch a ling but I was tired of my bait getting stolen. I decided to pursue more small fish and abandoned my big fish quest so I really have nobody to blame but myself.

In fact, I can blame myself for using the wrong technique on my live bait. James pointed out I was rigging my anchovies wrong. I put one on to spruce up my shrimp fly and hooked it through the nostrils like I normally do. James asked me if I always did it like that. Yup. I’ve been doing this since I was a kid in San Diego. The deckhands showed us how to rig anchovies on a single hook and we freelined them; no weight, just a hooked anchovy. The rig is fine for topwater but if you drop them down, they tend to rip free. I pulled up empty hooks multiple times on this trip and James suggested I go under the jaw and through the middle of the head. I realized I have been fishing anchovies wrong for rockcod for the past 20 years. This contributed significantly to my lack of lings because I’m not going to catch ’em on a bare hook. This is both discouraging and hopeful; I’m bummed I’ve been ignorant for the past 20 years and I’m hoping I will figure out how to catch them soon.

I also have an incredibly selfish first world problem; I’m fishing on an expensive charter boat with my son and our friends and I have a bad attitude because I’m only catching rockfish, not big lingcod. Something is deeply wrong with me when I can’t enjoy fishing with my son and our friends. I’m ashamed of myself. My biggest lesson:

Love Sean, love our friends, and be happy and grateful we are doing this thing I love together.

Gene, Nate, Zach, Maison, Sean, and I brought in 85 to the dock. 80 rockfish and 5 lingcod. After we hit our limits, we released at least 5 nice rockfish, used at least 5 small ones for bait, and released 5 or more short lings. Call it more than another 15 fish so we caught over a hundred fish today. Wow. That’s a very good day. Plus I got a nice fishing tip and a nicer life lesson.